Of All the Ifs
by RayWritesThings
Summary: Bill considers her old life; Heather opens up a little more about hers. Post-"The Doctor Falls", Established Relationship


**Hello, readers. I've decided to start cross-posting some of my fics from AO3 and tumblr over to FFN, so if you recognize this story most likely you've read it on either of my accounts there (Ray_Writes and raywritesthings, respectively). If you haven't read it before, I hope you enjoy!**

**-RayWritesThings**

**Of All the Ifs**

It took a bit of getting used to, but while she'd always remember her time on the TARDIS fondly, Bill had to admit there were perks to traveling with a proper pilot. For one thing, they always got where they meant to, and not right in the middle of an invasion or an outbreak of some deadly space cholera or something.

Whenever it was Heather's turn to pick the location, Bill caught her girlfriend looking at her more often than at what they'd come to see. Short, sneaking glances both anxious and hopeful, and it was only whenever Bill would proclaim how amazing the place was that Heather would relax. Though she'd offered to let her go whenever she wanted, it wasn't hard to guess that her girlfriend didn't relish the day if it ever came.

Bill wished she wouldn't worry so much. She had no plans of leaving any time soon. The traveling was brilliant. The dating was even better. Still, every so often she would wonder what was happening back on Earth, back at the University. If the Doctor had gone back there, if Shireen and the others had graduated yet, if Moira was back with Neville again. Then they'd be off somewhere new and Bill would forget about it all for a while.

It was over a shared plate of chips in a canteen on the Sareenian Asteroid Beltway that Bill began thinking about her options again. Chips always reminded her of her old life. If there was only some way of combining the two, keeping Heather, well then it wouldn't be a choice at all!

"Heather, when you said you could put me back on Earth—" Her girlfriend looked up, startled, so Bill hastened to reassure her. "I'm not saying right now, I'm just trying to think things over. You said you could put me back down as a human. That atoms were just atoms."

"Yeah," Heather agreed slowly, still watching her.

"Does that mean _you_ could go back?"

"Of course."

Bill blinked. "Why haven't you? Didn't you, I mean."

Heather shrugged. "Why would I have wanted to?"

"Well," Bill said, looking down and fiddling with a chip. "Me, maybe."

"I was looking out for you." When Bill glanced up, her girlfriend was smiling. "You asked if you could come with me, remember? I always hoped that we'd find each other again, and then we could go traveling like this, like we said. That's why I worked so hard to learn more about what I can do and control it."

"And I'm glad you did," Bill said, lifting her head to show off her smile. She would always be grateful Heather came back just when she'd needed her most. "But don't you ever miss it? I know you said you wanted to leave when you were there, but you're not there now so…"

Heather didn't look even momentarily conflicted. "No one there now misses me anymore, I'm sure. Didn't you notice?"

"Notice what?"

"That no one else noticed. When I left."

Bill thought about it. And the more she thought about it, the more she realized she couldn't think of anything, not one moment of anyone mentioning Heather's disappearance apart from her. There had been no missing posters, no search parties, no local news, no one at the University asking around.

"Didn't you have anyone back home?"

Heather shook her head. "I lived alone. I wasn't from there. Didn't want to go local in case my parents found out…well."

"Hey." Heather looked at her. "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want." Her girlfriend flashed her a grateful smile, just a quick upward quirk of the lips, and Bill reached for one of her hands, lacing their fingers together. "But for the record, they're all stupid and don't know what they're missing."

That got her a real smile. After a moment, though, it faded. "I don't want you to feel like you have to stay for me. It's your choice."

"I know," Bill said.

She wondered if Moira would look for her, if she never came back. If Shireen would pass around flyers. The Doctor wouldn't; thought she was dead, probably. She couldn't wait to see the look of surprise on that alien's face should they ever cross paths again.

But of all the ifs she could contemplate, leaving Heather wasn't one of them.

She squeezed the hand she was holding. "I couldn't bare letting you go twice."

Heather leaned across the little table, shoving the chips to the side. Forgotten. "You don't ever have to."

When they kissed, neither paid it any mind when the plate crashed to the floor.


End file.
